I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday
or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things
that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry
and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary,
or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall
and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and
bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry,
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day
or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse
than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage
and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers today.
~ Author Unknown ~
WHAT IS ABUSE?
(POWER AND CONTROL)
________________________
(Recommend in silence some who you know is in
restlessness and anxiety!)
"Let's Get This Straight"
Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to shove me, or hit me, or kick me, or even act like you're about to.
It's abuse.
Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to criticize me in front of our friends, our kids, or other members of your family or mine.
It's abuse.
Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to keep me in the dark about how much money you make, how much money we have, or how much debt we owe.
It's abuse.
Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to call me a liar when you know and I know that I'm much more truthful than you.
It's abuse.
Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to disappear when I'm sick or when I need you the most.
It's abuse.
Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to be nice to me only when you want sex.
It's abuse.
Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to start a screaming tantrum (or storm out of the room and refuse to talk to me) when I say something you disagree with, or when something doesn't go your way.
It's abuse.
Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to call me an idiot, a fool, or a bitch. Or stupid. Or ignorant.
It's abuse.
Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to ration money to me like I'm a child who can't be trusted, yet spend money with abandon for your own toys.
It's abuse.
Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to disappear any time you want to with your friends (no matter which gender).
It's abuse.
And one other thing: when you tell me that the one thing that's the matter with you is me, you're wrong. You're responsible for who you are and what you put up with. I'm responsible for who I am and what I put up with. I can choose to stop putting up with abuse.
~Author Unknown~
PHYSICAL - Pushing, shoving,
hitting, slapping, choking, pulling hair,
punching, kicking, using a weapon against her
will, beating, throwing her down, twisting of
arms, tripping, biting.
EMOTIONAL - Putting her down or
making her feel bad about herself, calling her
names. Making her think she's going crazy. Mind
games.
ECONOMIC - Trying to keep her
from getting or keeping a job. Making her ask
for money, giving her allowance, taking her
money.
SEXUAL - Making her do sexual
things against her will. Physically attacking
her sexual parts of her body. Treating her like a
sex object.
USING CHILDREN - Making her feel
guilty about the children, using the children to
give messages, using visitation as a way to
harass her.
THREATS - Making and/or carrying
out threats to do something to hurt her
emotionally. Threaten to take the children,
commit suicide, report her to welfare.
USING MALE PRIVILEGE - Treating
her like a servant. Making all the "big"
decisions. Acting like the "Master of the
castle".
INTIMIDATION - Putting her in
fear by: using looks, actions, gestures, loud
voice, smashing things, destroying her property.
ISOLATION - Controlling what she
does, who she sees and talks to, where she goes.
Father, give back peace to those who in their
hearts bear the need for violence and revenge!
Open the way of peace to every heart. Send them
Your light to make them aware of all lies and
deceit, so that nobody ever becomes a victim of
their violence again.
You know that hatred breaks families
and communities, so that many are on the the
streets now, abandoned, despised, seeking
consolation in alcohol, drugs, in disspated life,
but peace they do not find, nor is consolation
given to them. Only new wounds are opened and a
new grief reigns in hearts and families.
Father, I pray to You for them, I especially
include the young and the children who do not
find rest nor repose because their parents are at
odds with each other.
Lord, I pray that all obstacles to peace and
appeasement may disappear. May all be converted
and saved! Let the spring of joy and togetherness
come to all Men!
Say one Our Father, Hail Mary, and a Glory Be.
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"~Art through Healing...Healing through Art~"
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