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I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday
or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things
that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry
and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.





I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary,
or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall
and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and
bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry,
Because he sent me flowers today.





I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day
or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse
than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry
Because he sent me flowers today.





I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage
and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers today.


~ Author Unknown ~



"Let's Get This Straight"


Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to shove me, or hit me, or kick me, or even act like you're about to.
It's abuse.


Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to criticize me in front of our friends, our kids, or other members of your family or mine.
It's abuse.


Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to keep me in the dark about how much money you make, how much money we have, or how much debt we owe.
It's abuse.


Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to call me a liar when you know and I know that I'm much more truthful than you.
It's abuse.


Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to disappear when I'm sick or when I need you the most.
It's abuse.


Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to be nice to me only when you want sex.
It's abuse.


Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to start a screaming tantrum (or storm out of the room and refuse to talk to me) when I say something you disagree with, or when something doesn't go your way.
It's abuse.


Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to call me an idiot, a fool, or a bitch. Or stupid. Or ignorant.
It's abuse.


Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to ration money to me like I'm a child who can't be trusted, yet spend money with abandon for your own toys.
It's abuse.


Let's get this straight: It's not normal or okay for you to disappear any time you want to with your friends (no matter which gender).
It's abuse.


And one other thing: when you tell me that the one thing that's the matter with you is me, you're wrong. You're responsible for who you are and what you put up with. I'm responsible for who I am and what I put up with. I can choose to stop putting up with abuse.


~Author Unknown~

 


WHAT IS ABUSE?

(POWER AND CONTROL)


PHYSICAL - Pushing, shoving, hitting, slapping, choking, pulling hair, punching, kicking, using a weapon against her will, beating, throwing her down, twisting of arms, tripping, biting.


EMOTIONAL - Putting her down or making her feel bad about herself, calling her names. Making her think she's going crazy. Mind games.


ECONOMIC - Trying to keep her from getting or keeping a job. Making her ask for money, giving her allowance, taking her money.


SEXUAL - Making her do sexual things against her will. Physically attacking her sexual parts of her body. Treating her like a sex object.


USING CHILDREN - Making her feel guilty about the children, using the children to give messages, using visitation as a way to harass her.


THREATS - Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her emotionally. Threaten to take the children, commit suicide, report her to welfare.


USING MALE PRIVILEGE - Treating her like a servant. Making all the "big" decisions. Acting like the "Master of the castle".


INTIMIDATION - Putting her in fear by: using looks, actions, gestures, loud voice, smashing things, destroying her property.


ISOLATION - Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, where she goes.



     ________________________


Father, give back peace to those who in their hearts bear the need for violence and revenge! Open the way of peace to every heart. Send them Your light to make them aware of all lies and deceit, so that nobody ever becomes a victim of their violence again.


    You know that hatred breaks families and communities, so that many are on the the streets now, abandoned, despised, seeking consolation in alcohol, drugs, in disspated life, but peace they do not find, nor is consolation given to them. Only new wounds are opened and a new grief reigns in hearts and families.


Father, I pray to You for them, I especially include the young and the children who do not find rest nor repose because their parents are at odds with each other.


Lord, I pray that all obstacles to peace and appeasement may disappear. May all be converted and saved! Let the spring of joy and togetherness come to all Men!

(Recommend in silence some who you know is in restlessness and anxiety!)


Say one Our Father, Hail Mary, and a Glory Be.

 



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This site is in Loving Memory of Tara



NEXT "Child Abuse"



Down below you will find links for support groups for those who has been victimized by abuse.







Survivors' Art Foundation is a non profit organization, which deals in the Art of Healing.

"~Art through Healing...Healing through Art~"

 

  • Safety Net - Valuable domestic violence resource with links, postings, state coalition numbers and shelter numbers!
  • RAINN - The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network offers free, confidential counseling 24 hours a day, from anywhere in the country.
  • Behind Closed Doors - An artistic multimedia collaborative project, deals with issues of domestic violence and provides links with local support groups.
  • The Bridge to Hope - Sexual assault and domestic abuse agency offering crisis intervention and follow-up services in Dunn and Pepin Counties, Wisconsin with general resource information and links.
  • Women's Peacepower Foundation - Makes grants to grassroots projects that are working to impact issues of violence against women and their children.
  • Violence Against Women Grants Office - Assists the nation's criminal justice system in responding to the needs and concerns of women victimized by violence.
  • Domestic Violence Information - Resources in the Cleveland Area from shelters to support groups.
  • Domestic Violence Information Depot - Information to educate the populace about domestic violence, what it is and how to help. Also includes survivor stories as they are submitted.
  • Hiding In The Closet, No more! - One of the largest online domestic violence resources for battered women and the children who witness domestic violence.
  • Sexual Assault Awareness Month - Please visit our calendar to see what communities are doing to promote awareness about sexual assault. You can also submit events going on in your area.
  • Legal Aid for Abused Women - LAAW provides legal aid for women and men trying to remove themselves from an abusive situation.
  • Nicole Brown Simpson Charitable Fdn. - Pledges to educate the national community to the dangers of family violence. Supports programs and facilitates treatment of both victim and aggressor.
  • Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women - Crisis Counseling,Teen Abuse Prevention, Women & Children's Self-Defense materials, site provides resources locally and nationally.
  • YWCA - National Site. Local services include battered women's shelters, counseling, child care, support to victims of rape and sexual assault, job training, sports and fitness opportunities.
  • The Sounding Board Counseling Center - A comprehensive counseling and mental health facility specializing in domestic violence, serving all of the United States.
  • Strengthen Our Sisters - A grass-roots community-based nonprofit and shelter in New Jersey serving homeless/battered women and their children.
  • Wings - A Place For Healing From Abuse A supportive site for Christian women dealing with domestic violence.
  • Moonshower's Healing Corner - Website of a survivor of domestic violence, with links to sites to help other survivors. Share your story or show your support.
  • Crossroads Safehouse - Battered women's shelter in Larimer County, CO. Provides shelter, counselling, and support.
  • Canadian Crisis/Sexual Assault Centres - Phone numbers for crisis centres, help lines, transition houses, suicide intervention lines, and children's protection services.
  • Mujeres en Red - International mobilization against violence against women. (Spanish)
  • A Woman Like You - Excerpts from a book by Vera Anderson about women victims of domestic violence.
  • La Boletina - A bi-monthly magazine promoting communication between women. In Spanish.
  • Pamela Anderson Lee - Celebrity biography site with photo gallery and movie information.
  • Violence Against Women in Korea - To establish a democratic society,where all women are free from violence and discrimination and become active agents of social change.
  • Brett Butler - Celebrity biography site with the story of her escape from an abusive marraige and acting history.
  • Tina Turner - Celebrity biography site with fan mail address and basic stats.
  • Pat McClendon's Clinical Social Work - Health and mental health issues and resources.
  • Women's Studies Database - Gender Issues, Violence and Women is the topic of this page with links to resources and information.
  • WRAP - Cottonwood County Women's Rural Advocacy Programs, located in southwest Minnesota, dealing with domestic violence issues, especially ones concerning rural women.
  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Bibliography - An annotated list of books and articles about the emotional aftershocks of rape, incest, child abuse, street crime, and family violence.
  • Victim Services - The national resource with essential information for battered women.
  • SAWNET - South Asian Women's Network forum for those interested in South Asian women's issues. A large section for domestic violence issues and resourses.
  • W.I.S.E. - Women's Issues and Social Empowerment, with extensive links and information on domestic violence and health issues from Melbourne, Australia.
  • The American Women's Self Defense Assn. - Dedicated to furthering women's awareness of self defense and rape prevention.
  • Hiding In The Closet, no more! - A site devoted to domestic violence and child custody issures.
  • Feminist Mom Center of the Universe - Women's Issues including Breastfeeding, Motherhood, Birth Control, Tubal Sterilization, Violence against Women, and more.
  • Karra's Korner - Site offers links to lots of information about ritual abuse and recovery.
  • Recovery and Abuse Prevention Site - Abuse Prevention, Progressive Parenting, and Recovery.
  • Shelby County Domestic Violence Council - Promotes effective prevention, intervention and treatment in the Tennessee area. Links to committees and organizations dedicated to victim's services.
  • Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence - An interreligious ministry addressing issues of sexual and domestic violence. Educational materials are available.
  • Let's Wrap - The Women's Rural Advocacy Programs quarterly newletter with links to individual program homepages, with more information, statistics, and links about domestic violence.
  • Pee Dee Coalition - Coalition Against Domestic And Sexual Assault, The Rape Crisis and Family Violence Center, serving the Pee Dee Area in South Carolina.
  • Psyche's Garden - Aromatherapy for adult survivors of child abuse, incest, and domestic violence.
  • New Mexico Coalition Against Domestic Violence - Comprehensive information about resources available in New Mexico, educational material, and links to many other sites.
  • Family Violence Prevention Services - Women's therapy group meets to increase women's understanding of violence between partners and to provide them with strategies .
  • Someday I'll be Saturday Night - A site for survivors of child abuse.
  • KASAP - Kentucky Association of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc. is the statewide coalition of the 13 rape crisis centers in the Commonwealth.
  • MoonAura's Survivor Page - This site is a tribute to a healing journey. It includes thoughts, stories, poems and links for rape support.
  • Vancouver Rape Relief and Shelter - Opened in 1973 by two women, has grown into a volunteer feminist collective to end violence against women. Site lists resources, contact info & current issues.
  • Shasta Treatment Center - Non-profit organization dedicated to preventing sexual abuse. Incest and child molest victim treatment.
  • Domestic Violence and My Kids - Information and links created by a woman in memory of her kids, killed as a result of DV.
  • New Hope for Women - Domestic violence shelter/center located in Rockland, Maine. Contains information on the center and its services.
  • New Beginnings - A unique program that provides a total package of Programs and Services sought and needed by victims of Domestic Violence, based in Texas.
  • WAVE - Women Against Violence Europe is a Network of NGOs combatting violence against women. The site includes a database of addresses of European organizations working in this field.
  • Battered Women's Justice Center - The first university-based center in the United States dedicated to training lawyers to handle battered women's cases.
  • Breaking the Silence - Women speak out on sexual violence.
  • Trauma, Recovery & Empowerment Services - Creative Discoveries offers therapy for adults and children, (using verbal and creative therapies).
  • Domestic Violence & The GLBT - Links and resources to same sex domestic violence.
  • Red Flag Green Flag - Specialists in the prevention and treatment of child sexual abuse, sexual assault, incest and domestic violence.
  • Art of Healing - A gallery of powerful paintings created by Linda Ness as an expression of the process of healing from sexual abuse.
  • No Safe Place - Article by Phyllis Chesler on sexual violence of women in institutionalized settings.
  • Battered Women Toll-free Hotlines - A listing of many states' toll-free hotlines offering advice and assistance to battered women.
  • Intentional Infliction - Texas lawyer and author Wolf Puckett responds with a courtroom novel where a husband's common abuse degenerates into the bizarre.
  • Abuse of the Disabled - Women with disabilities are speaking out against violence and making it an important agenda item.
  • CSVR Trauma Clinic - Centre for the Study of Violence and Reconciliation, a counselling service for people who are traumatised as a result of various forms of violence with links to resources.
  • CAVNET - Communities Against Violence Network Addressing Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, Stalking, Violence Against Women
  • CASA - Court Appointed Special Advocates - This page provides information on trained volunteers who speak up for the best interests of abused and neglected children in court.
  • Safeline - This UK site has lots of useful information for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse as well as for family and friends.
  • Family Violence Prevention Fund - A national non-profit organization that focuses on domestic violence education, prevention and public reform.


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